Waiting Game

We are anxiously anticipating the arrival of munchkin-the-sequel in a few weeks. She is supposed to make her debut in 3 weeks, but the munchkin was a whole two weeks late when he finally decided to show up, so I am not holding my breath that 2.0 will be here anytime soon.

Apparently the fact that the munchkin arrived 2 weeks after his due date is a bit of a medical anomaly. At one of my first visits to the doctor during this pregnancy the nurse who was updating my chart said, “Did you really go 42 weeks with your first baby? That can’t be right.”

Nope, it was right.

At this same visit the doctor asked, “Wow, you went 42 weeks with your first. Do you plan to do that again?”

At a later visit a nurse commented, “Hmm, 42 weeks…we don’t see that very often. Did you do that on purpose?”

More recently a different nurse was looking at my chart and said, “It says here that your first pregnancy you went 42 weeks. Can you tell me why you chose to do that?”

They give me way too much credit: I was not aware that I had that much control on when the munchkin showed up!

For now, we are patiently waiting for baby to show up. The hubs talked about waiting in his sleep last week, but I don’t think he was waiting for our baby girl. I was just starting to fall asleep when the hubs sat up and crossed his arms.

Me: Are you ok?

Hubs: Yep, just waiting for Thomas.

Me: Oh, ok. Do you think he’ll be long?

Hubs: Don’t worry about it honey.

Me: Alright. I’m going back to sleep then.

Then I rolled back over and went back to sleep. I’m not sure how long the hubs sat up, but I hope that whoever he thought was coming didn’t keep him waiting for too long!

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Planes, Trains, and Vehicles for the Elderly

Recently the munchkin and I flew down to see my parents for the holidays. The munchkin does very well on planes, especially now that he is old enough to have his own seat. On our second flight of the day he happened to be seated right next to a lady who was obviously very nervous about the flight. I tried to keep him busy and distracted and not bothering her, since flying was already obviously not something she enjoyed. The munchkin did a great job during the flight, and his seat-mate seemed to calm down and be less distressed about flying.

And then we began the descent. As the plane nose dropped the munchkin threw his little fists in the air and yelled, “WE’RE GOING DOWN!”

At this outburst the passenger next to us became very agitated and began making the sign of the cross on herself; I assume she was praying something along the lines of that if we were in fact to go down that an excited toddler who would not stop kicking the seat in front of him would not be the last thing she saw. I hope she is able to fly again.

Shortly before we left for this eventful trip the asleep hubs was apparently also concerned with transportation. The hubs had a cold so he had gone to bed early while I was still up reading. All of the sudden he jumped in his sleep and started talking.

Hubs: The older people need the vehicle…or should they not?

Me: Hmm? What do you mean?

Hubs: Well, it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s a vehicle for older people.

Me: Oh, really? That’s different.

Hubs: Yeah, just not a good idea.

Me: Yeah, can you tell me about it?

Hubs: It isn’t important, I don’t think I need to tell you. It’s about the elderly.

Me: You said that, but I’m curious about it.

Hubs: I don’t want to tell you about it. I already told you that.

Me: You can’t tell me anything?

Hubs: Stop asking about it. Please stop!

Me: Ok, that’s fine.

Then he huffed and rolled over angrily, never waking up. I was sorry to upset him in his sleep, but I also couldn’t help giggling about how silly the conversation was. I guess both of my boys have very serious transportation concerns!

Strike Four, You’re Out!

I have many fine qualities, but natural athletic ability is not chief among them. Actually, it is not really among them at all. When God was gifting me, athletic ability was left standing on the wall like a loser while various other things were chosen… much like I was left standing on the wall when my peers chose teams for softball in gym class. I am just not skilled. I was so bad that in gym class the teacher used to feel bad and “miscount” strikes when we played softball and give me four chances to swing. I was so bad that the kids didn’t even bother to move in, because the odds of me connecting ball and bat were practically zero. I was so bad that the pitcher (who I had a crush on) used to scoot way up and just sort of loft the ball at me, encouraging me to hit it. And I really haven’t gotten much better in the decade and a half since then.

My lack of athletic ability (and obvious emotional scars from softball failures) does not mean that I do not like to play with balls with the dog and the munchkin.

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The munchkin loves balls so much that I made his play pen into a ball-pit. It’s awesome. I’m not sure who loves it more, him or me.

The dog prefers tennis balls. She keeps a secret stash of them behind the television cabinet.

The dog prefers tennis balls. She keeps a secret stash of them behind the television cabinet.

Unlike me, the hubs is good at sports. Right now he is on a golf kick, and he’s out swinging the club constantly. I think that getting out for a few holes must have been on his mind last night. I was sleeping soundly when I jumped awake because the hubs sat up and smacked my shoulder.

Me: What?!? What’s wrong?!?

Hubs: What on earth!?! Don’t you know about the foursome?

Me: Umm, no…

Hubs: Yeah, well I’m not playing without it, and you’re just… it’s just…

Me: What are you talking about?

Hubs: Oh, you don’t even know, do you! We need a foursome for nine holes.

Me: That’s fine, Buddy. Let’s not worry about it.

Hubs: You know what you are? An embarrassment. Yep, this is just horrible.

Surprisingly, I was not offended, because, when it comes to sports, this is nothing I didn’t already know…that, and I’m doing better at not getting upset when the hubs sleep talks

Me: Ok, I’m going back to sleep.

Hubs: Well, it’s just… I mean, GAH!

And then he threw his hands up in exasperation, sank back down, and did not say anything else.

Poor, asleep hubs. Thankfully, when he’s awake he normally has a foursome willing to play and can golf to his heart’s content. Now if only we could round up enough players for some friendly softball – I get four strikes, right?

Confessions

People frequently ask me if the hubs ever confesses things in his sleep. Or if I try to ask him questions to find out the truth while he is sleeping. The answer is “no.” To both questions. If the hubs has something to tell me, he does. And if I wanted to know the truth I simply have to ask him while we are both awake.

The munchkin has nothing to confess: he can sleep like a baby.

The munchkin has nothing to confess: he can sleep like a baby.

Isn’t it interesting that so many people think that I should utilize the hubs’ sleep talking to find out his secrets? I suppose we all want to know things about other people, to know their secrets, and to confess our own. One well timed question and anyone will share their secrets. In fact, I have some things to confess right now:

My least favorite chore is mopping. It always has been. Therefore, I do not own a mop. I clean my floors by other means, just never mopping.

I still, in my deepest heart, think that the three kings in “We Three Kings” are from a place called “Orientare.”

I sing Cindy Lauper songs to the munchkin. A lot. His favorite is “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

It bothers me a lot when people say “alot.” It is two words. If you type it as one word, I judge you a lot.

I always said that I would never talk to my child in “baby talk,” because I thought that it would stunt their verbal skills. I talk to the munchkin in baby talk all day long. I talk so much like a baby that I now talk to the dog like a baby. The other day I answered the phone with baby talk. It’s getting a little out of control.

When I walk the dog in the evening and a dog a street or two over starts barking, I let our dog bark back for awhile. I do this just in case the Twilight Bark is a real thing, and she is helping to save some lost puppies.

I also must confess that I occasionally sleep talk. In fact, according to the hubs, I talked in my sleep this past week. He said I mumbled, “Slerfenskots frozen people…”

And he said, “What, hon?”

“Slerfenskots frozen peopsernf.”

I have no idea what I was talking about, but the hubs has confessed that it was quite funny to have the sleep-talking tables turned.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I am really looking forward to the munchkin’s first laugh. I know it is still a little premature to be expecting a giggle, but I keep hoping.

The munchkin does lots of smiling, just no laughing yet.

The munchkin does lots of smiling, just no laughing yet.

Laughing is just so wonderful, and I want him to have that joy. Plus, laughter can make a bad situation better. Last week we had a situation that wasn’t funny at the time, but that we could laugh about later.

I was up reading in bed when all of the sudden the hubs sat up and started shaking his arm.

Me: Whatcha doing?

Hubs: My arm’s feeling funny.

Me: Oh, ok.

The hubs continued to shake his arm. I thought he was awake, but was not completely sure.

Me: Are you asleep?

Hubs (yelling): No, I’m very awake! Don’t assume the worst about me! Why do you always do that? You shouldn’t assume the worst!

Me: Excuse me? What is wrong with you? I’m not assuming the worst, I just didn’t know if you were awake!

Hubs: Well, it’s just something you always do. Just STOP IT!

Me: Well, FINE!

Then I slammed my book shut and went to sleep in a huff. The next morning the hubs and I had a discussion about what had happened: apparently he was asleep for the whole thing. And he was quite surprised when he rolled over in the morning, and found an extremely grumpy wife!

At least we were able to laugh about it later; the hubs saw the humor in it much sooner than I did. Laughing together makes everything better. I know that when the munchkin finally does laugh it will have been worth the wait.

Introducing the Munchkin

So, I haven’t posted about the hubs’ sleep talking in awhile. We have been just a little busy, with Christmas and school and work and, you know, having a baby and all of that.

Rory Wynalda 68

Rory Wynalda 66We are all adjusting quite well. I actually don’t think that the dog has even acknowledged that the munchkin is here: she just ignores him. However, the hubs has been sleep talking less, perhaps because he is sleeping less due to the baby.

We have the munchkin sleeping in his bassinet in our room right now; it works well for feeding and changing him at night. It kind of bothers me, however, that the hubs does not wake up when the baby does. At all. He could be screaming his tiny lungs out and the hubs does not even turn over. I find this to be especially irksome because I wake up when the baby even has the slightest turn of his cute little head, or sighs loudly, or gives a little squeak in his sleep.

Honestly, though, we are both sleeping decently well, as the munchkin is a pretty good sleeper. For a baby, at least. However, this past week he had a couple days where he was not sleeping quite as well. So, I set up the white noise machine to try to help him fall asleep more quickly. The first night I was going to use it, the hubs had already gone to sleep while I fed the munchkin and got him ready for bed. I went into the bedroom and turned on the white noise machine, and it began to “whir” softly.

I got the munchkin settled in his bassinet, when suddenly the hubs sat up.

Hubs: What is that?!?

I figured he was sleep talking so I just ignored him while I climbed in bed.

Hubs: Hon… do you hear that?

I just stared at him, thankful he was talking now and not later in the night and waking me up.

Hubs: What is it? Something’s wrong!

Me: Are you awake?

Hubs: Yes, I’m awake! Don’t you hear that loud machine? Is something turned on?

Me: Umm, do you mean the white noise machine? Did the white noise machine actually wake you up?!?

Hubs: Oh, is that what it is? I was really concerned.

Then he rolled over and went right back to sleep. And several hours later when the baby woke up wailing, many decibels louder than the white noise machine, the hubs did not even stir. Now that’s talent.