I have many fine qualities, but natural athletic ability is not chief among them. Actually, it is not really among them at all. When God was gifting me, athletic ability was left standing on the wall like a loser while various other things were chosen… much like I was left standing on the wall when my peers chose teams for softball in gym class. I am just not skilled. I was so bad that in gym class the teacher used to feel bad and “miscount” strikes when we played softball and give me four chances to swing. I was so bad that the kids didn’t even bother to move in, because the odds of me connecting ball and bat were practically zero. I was so bad that the pitcher (who I had a crush on) used to scoot way up and just sort of loft the ball at me, encouraging me to hit it. And I really haven’t gotten much better in the decade and a half since then.
My lack of athletic ability (and obvious emotional scars from softball failures) does not mean that I do not like to play with balls with the dog and the munchkin.
Unlike me, the hubs is good at sports. Right now he is on a golf kick, and he’s out swinging the club constantly. I think that getting out for a few holes must have been on his mind last night. I was sleeping soundly when I jumped awake because the hubs sat up and smacked my shoulder.
Me: What?!? What’s wrong?!?
Hubs: What on earth!?! Don’t you know about the foursome?
Me: Umm, no…
Hubs: Yeah, well I’m not playing without it, and you’re just… it’s just…
Me: What are you talking about?
Hubs: Oh, you don’t even know, do you! We need a foursome for nine holes.
Me: That’s fine, Buddy. Let’s not worry about it.
Hubs: You know what you are? An embarrassment. Yep, this is just horrible.
Surprisingly, I was not offended, because, when it comes to sports, this is nothing I didn’t already know…that, and I’m doing better at not getting upset when the hubs sleep talks
Me: Ok, I’m going back to sleep.
Hubs: Well, it’s just… I mean, GAH!
And then he threw his hands up in exasperation, sank back down, and did not say anything else.
Poor, asleep hubs. Thankfully, when he’s awake he normally has a foursome willing to play and can golf to his heart’s content. Now if only we could round up enough players for some friendly softball – I get four strikes, right?