All By Myself

Most of the time, I am a very independent person. And slightly excessively stubborn. So, when I set my mind to do something, I get frustrated if I can’t do it all, and have to ask for help. However, due to my new extreme roundness brought on by the growing munchkin, I am finding that I cannot quite do everything all by myself. Things like dusting the bottom shelf of the bookcase, fitting into pants with buttons, refraining from eating an entire jar of cinnamon applesauce, and climbing on chairs to change the smoke detector batteries have become very difficult.

Just hanging out with the hubs. I’m the round one.

The other night the hubs and I were hanging out on the couch, and I had just come home from teaching. It had been an observation day for performance review time, so I could not sit down at all the whole class. I was complaining to the hubs about how uncomfortable I was, and how tired my legs were, and I was just generally being a grump. I said, “I’m sorry, I’m being sort of whiny about this right now.”

To which the hubs replied, “Yeah, kind of.”

I was so upset at his lack of compassion that I tried to storm off. However, I was laying back, and couldn’t sit up, seeing as how I have a basketball for a tummy. So, the hubs had to help me roll off of the couch, so that I could then storm off. By the time I finally got upright with his help it seemed silly to be mad, so I got some chocolate from the kitchen and returned to him on the couch.

It is very humbling to not be able to sit up on one’s own. I guess I cannot do everything by myself.

Oh, well. Just a couple more weeks and things will all go back to normal, right? Right, guys? Guys? RIGHT?!?

Perhaps the hubs was thinking about my desire to do things for myself when he was talking in his sleep this past week. I was laying there, debating in my mind the merits of a third pillow to prop up my feet, when the hubs started talking.

Hubs: It can do it itself!

Me: Hmm, what can, Buddy?

Hubs: It can clean itself up. It really can, we just have to leave it alone.

Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Hubs: The river…it will clean itself if we just let it.

Me: Oh?

Hubs: Yeah, it can do it all by itself.

Me: Ok, anything else?

Hubs: It’s good…all by itself.

He didn’t say anything else after that, and I decided to get out of bed to get another pillow, all by myself.

Advertisements

Photos and Deli Meat

I am not very good about taking pictures. For one thing, I always forget to take any. And then on the rare occasion when I do remember to take pictures, I don’t take very good ones. Mostly, I take bad pictures of the dog.

See what I mean? Poorly lit, poorly focused, and not very good. But, she’s just so cute, even in a bad picture!

I have been working on it, however, trying to take more and better pictures. I think I’m making progress – at my brother’s wedding weekend earlier this month I took 6 pictures. That’s a lot…for me, anyway.

This past week, the hubs apparently had photography on the brain as well.

Hubs – You ok?

Me – Yeah, what’s up? Why aren’t you asleep yet?

Hubs – Waiting for David to take my picture.

Ok, so the hubs is asleep.

Me – Oh…take your picture for what?

Hubs – David, he has to take my picture for…for… I don’t really remember right now.

Me – Is it for work?

Hubs – It’s not at Subway.

Me – Oh, you work at Subway?

Hubs (annoyed) – I just told you, it’s not at Subway.

Me – Oh, I see. So where is it?

Silence

Me – Hubs? I get it, it’s not at Subway.

Nothing.

So, I left him alone to his dreams about getting his picture taken. He’s so handsome I’m sure they were great pictures, even though they weren’t at Subway.

The Beginning of It All

This past week was our wedding anniversary.

Here we are on the big day! I was just hanging out in the woods wearing this white dress and ran into the hubs, who happened to be in a suit. (Photos by Chris Pritchard)

Occasionally I am asked how I happened to meet the hubs, and how he became my sleep talking husband. Well, that’s a funny story.

I was a lowly undergrad, making my way up the stairs in the campus cafeteria to the balcony, which we lovingly referred to as Up-Chucks. This very tall man in front of me all of the sudden turned around and started talking to me.

Tall man: Hi! How’s it going?

Me (not knowing who this person was, but assuming that I probably met him before and just didn’t remember): It’s going well. How are you?

Tall man: Doing great. What did you think of the speaker today?

Me (really trying to figure out who this person was): Pretty good.

Tall man (stopping suddenly on the stairs and turning around completely): I am so very sorry. I thought you were that girl over there… who I just met a few days ago… I don’t think I know you… at all.

Me (laughing, feeling a little awkward): Oh, that’s alright. That actually makes me feel better because I had no idea who you were.

Tall man: Yeah, no problem. Alright, well, I’ll see you around.

Me: Yeah, have a nice life!

Then we parted ways. I was feeling self-conscious about my awkwardness at telling him to have a nice life, but consoled myself with the thought that I would probably never see him again.

And that is how I met the hubs. Some months later we were introduced for real by mutual friends at an ice cream shop, and the rest as they say is history!

It would have been very romantic if the hubs had talked in his sleep this past week about our wedding or anniversary, but alas he did not. What he did do was some sort of rhythmic chant. Oh, hubs.

One morning this past week, I was laying in bed, having woken up very early with a stomach ache. I was trying to decide if my stomach hurt because my appendix had ruptured, or if it had to do with the 7 chocolate chip cookies I ate right before bed. All of the sudden the hubs started doing some sort of chant, with one drawn out word, followed by two shorter repetitions of the same word.

Hubs: SNORT, snort, snort… NOO, no, no… CHIEF, chief, chief… SEEE, see, see

Then he didn’t say anything else. I have no idea what on earth he could have been dreaming about to make him chant like this. When I told him about it in the morning he didn’t know what I was talking about. What I do know, however, is that being married to him for the past few years has been a dream come true.

And they lived happily ever after.

Yellowstone Wanderings: Bison, and Otters, and Wolves, Oh, My!

You might have noticed that there was no post last Monday. I was gallivanting with my parents and brother out west. There were beautiful lakes, lovely green fields, and magnificent waterfalls.

(My brother took all of these pics.)

There were bison and wolves and bald eagles and elk and otters all roaming this beautiful land. However, there was one thing that could not be found: internet connection. Therefore, there was no post. Not to worry, though. I am now back to the hubs, the dog, and the blogosphere.

It’s funny: when I am away from the hubs I can’t sleep because he isn’t there. But when I am home with the hubs I can’t sleep because his sleep talking wakes me up. This was proven yet again a few days before I left for my trip. I woke up because the hubs was sitting up, shaking my arm. I flopped over.

Me: Humph…what’s up?

Hubs stopped, and turned toward his nightstand. Now I was thinking that he was probably asleep.

Hubs: Hmm? What you say?

Me: Nothing, it’s alright.

Hubs (laying down again): Oh, ok.

The hubs sits up suddenly.

Hubs: Did you hear something?

Me: No, I don’t think so.

Hubs: Hmm… yeah. Must be nothing.

Then he laid back down and did not say anything else. All of this seemed almost normal, although it did not make much sense. However, the next morning the hubs didn’t remember any of it, so he must have been sleep talking.

I am very happy to be home to the hubs, back to his familiar night time ramblings. Even if they do wake me up.

The Best Guard Dog in the County

Our dog is very protective of her family. Thankfully she does not bark excessively and get us in trouble with the apartment complex. However, she does spend the vast majority of her waking hours guarding the apartment. She looks out over the lawn, giving a little snort whenever she sees someone pass by the window.

This is the dog’s favorite chair to sit on while she looks out the window, surveying her domain.

She does not bark at any dogs except for one: a small yorkie that I’m sure is very nice, but she for some reason views as a threat. The yorkie is the size of an overweight guinea pig, so I have no idea why the dog gets so upset, but she does. She barks and whines whenever that little rodent with bows in her hair walks by. The dog also freaks out and howls when the hubs walks around the building so she can’t see him anymore. When this happens she throws herself on the ground and “ROOOROOOROOO!”s her great displeasure.

More looking out the window. Is that the yorkie?!? Nope, it’s all ok. Just a giant yellow lab.

Everything looks quiet on the western front.

Sometimes the laundry pile needs to be guarded, too.

I’m glad that she is so protective of us, although she is so petite I don’t think that she would be much help if we really were under attack. The hubs is the REAL protector of our family, even though the dog thinks she is.

Last night the hubs all of the sudden sat up in his sleep, then started talking.

Hubs: 48, 54, 72, maybe…maybe a little more than that.

Me: Hmm… what, Buddy?

Hubs: I think, I really think 54. That’s enough.

Me: 54? 54 what?

Hubs: 54 feet. That’s how many it will take to protect her. Probably 54 feet, minimum.

Me: Oh, ok… you think 54 is enough?

Hubs: Yeah. That should be far enough to keep her safe.

Me: Keep who safe from what?

Hubs: Oh, don’t worry about it, Baby. It’s ok. Nothing to worry about.

Then he leaned over, gave me a peck on the forehead, and rolled back over to sleep.

I don’t know who the hubs was protecting in his sleep, but I do know that with him around I feel much safer.

There’s No Place Like Home

I have been traveling for a bit, so had to be away from the hubs and the dog.

Sad to be away from the hubs, ecstatic to be seeing more of the world!

When I am away from the hubs, he eats pancakes for every meal. Every. Single. Meal. Even if I make a casserole or two and write directions on the foil, he still only eats pancakes. Only pancakes.

The hubs making pancakes... again...

The dog ate the same thing all week, too. But that is pretty normal.

However, I am back now, making yummy, non-pancake meals for the hubs. He has not talked in his sleep much since I  got back but he did talk some the week before I left.

I was snuggled up in bed, having some trouble sleeping, when all of the sudden the hubs started talking to me.

Hubs: Sure, you can come in.

Me: I can? Come in where?

Hubs: Come into the building.

Me: Oh… ok.

The hubs did not say anything else, so I hunkered down to go to sleep. I reached out and put my arm around the hubs. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and threw my arm off of him!

Hubs: I said you can come in! That doesn’t mean you can put your hands all over me!

Me (totally shocked): I can’t?!? Umm… ok, well maybe later I guess.

Hubs: Yeah, that’s ok.

Me: Do you know who I am?

Hubs: Yes, so I guess it’s ok for you to hug me. But no one else!

Me: Oh, ok. That’s fine.

Then he rolled over and did not say anything else.

It is a good thing that this happened before my trip. Otherwise, I would have been very offended if this was his nighttime greeting after my return!

Feet are the Window Into the Soul

I feel pity for feet: they just don’t get much respect. However, this past week the asleep hubs showed great interest in my feet. This got me thinking about feet, and their noble covering, the shoe. You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what covers their feet. Feet are the window into the soul… or something like that. Without further ado, I am happy to throw open this window and to present “My Week in Footwear.”

Monday

Monday – April showers bring May flowers. However, March showers bring unrealistic hope that winter is actually over up here in the north.

Tuesday

Tuesday – Breaking in my new hiking boots for an upcoming trip. They felt great! However, I suspect that the trip will be more rigorous than walking to the mailbox and back and I should continue to break them in.

Wednesday

Wednesday – Taking the dog for a run on the rail trail. She does not technically “run.” I run and she frantically tries to speed-pee on every light pole we pass.

Thursday

Thursday – Headed to work. Daily I wear cute shoes to work, and daily it is a stupid decision. Rarely are cute shoes comfortable, and teaching is hard on the feet. Someday I will actually wear practical shoes instead of being seduced by peep toe flats and ruffled slingbacks. That day is not today.

Friday

Friday – At the grocery store. All of the workers are so friendly to me. I tell myself it is because I smile at them and am kind to them. However, they are probably nice to me because they think I’m slightly emotionally unstable: when we first moved here I started crying in front of the pancake syrups because I could not find a grocery store in the state that carried the type of syrup I was used to buying. I wasn’t really crying over the syrup; I never seem to cry about what is ACTUALLY the issue, it is something stupid that opens the floodgates. But of course, the poor stock boy who was trying to assist me had no way to know this, and he thought I really was distraught over a waffle topping.

Saturday

Saturday – Making pumpkin spice muffins. This is my foot’s preferred state: free to wiggle.

Sunday

Sunday – Off to church in my heels. The higher the heel, the closer to God.

The lowly foot was brought to the forefront of my mind this week because of something the hubs did in his sleep early in the week. The hubs was fast asleep, but I was still up, staring at the ceiling regretting having caffeine so close to bedtime. Suddenly, the hubs grabbed my foot! I thrashed around, quite startled, but he kept a tight grip on my foot. I calmed down and started talking to him; he remained strongly attached to my poor foot.

Me: What are you doing?

Hubs: Nothing, just checking stuff out.

Me: What are you checking?

Hubs: I’m checking on the product.

Me: Oh… and it seems to be ok?

Hubs: Yep, seems to be ok.

Me: Ok. Anything else you need?

Hubs: Nope, think it’s all pretty good.

Then the hubs let go of my foot and rolled back over.

Even in his sleep the hubs is kind enough to check on my feet. I don’t know if there is a husband of the year contest, but he would be a shoe-in.