It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Now that the Thanksgiving holiday is behind us, I am ready to get into the Christmas spirit. The tree is up, and the dog has already found the tree skirt to be a wonderful place to hide her chew toys. Christmas music is now the radio station of choice for my commute. The hubs has been listening to Christmas music since late October, but I held out until this weekend.

“Oh, yay… another holiday where I get to wear a sweater.”

Even though we have started the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it has been a quiet week for sleep-talking. However, the hubs has had some “one-liners” where he says just one short statement then does not say anything else:

“Why are you on the table?”

“That’s just wild.”

“Please stop…that’s super obnoxious.”

“She’s right over there.”

(mumbling) “Schlerschock to the tune of mansdkfjasif.”

When the hubs says things like this I frequently talk back to him to see if he will say anything else. But, this week, he hasn’t said anything else, just little phrases.

I am really looking forward to another holiday season with the hubs, filled with Christmas carols, snow, and probably some sleep talking!

Some things are not as they seem…

Last week the hubs called for me to come see something awesome. Now, what the hubs thinks is “awesome” (large deer, fade away jumpers at the buzzer, and cheap pizza) differs quite a bit from what I think is “awesome,” so I did not know what to expect.

This is what I encountered:“Look!” the hubs said. “I’m fluffy and pregnant just like you…and it’s ALIVE!”

And out popped the head of our precious baby dog, the most patient creature in the world.

Now, I have to agree with the hubs that this was pretty awesome (although slightly disturbing). However, even though he had a huge tummy, he was not in fact great with child: sometimes things are not what they seem!

I learned that lesson again this week one night at about 3:30 am. I was woken up to the hubs thrashing around.

Me: Buddy? What are you doing?

Hubs (sitting up now, still thrashing around): Hummph…

Me (patting his arm like I normally do when he’s sleep-moving): Ok, well you’re asleep so just lay back down.

Hubs: I’m not asleep… my leg just hurts.

Me (not believing, and still groggy): Ok, just lay back down.

Hubs (starting to get out of bed): No, I’m awake, it’s just that my leg fell asleep.

I was now alarmed that he would sleep-walk somewhere, so I grabbed his arm to keep him from getting out of bed.

Me: Ok, just lay back down now, that’s fine!

Hubs (getting agitated): Now, stop that, my leg is asleep and it hurts. I’m trying to wake it up! Let go of me, I am not asleep!

Me (still holding his arm and trying to get him to lay back down): Yeah, alright. Here you go, just lay back down.

He at least stopped trying to get out of bed, although he kept rubbing his leg.

Hubs (really agitated): Woman, what is wrong with you?!?

Me: Ok…just go back to bed.

And I kept patting his arm until he finally laid back down and was still again. Then I fell asleep, wondering what he was dreaming about that had him sleep-talking so much about a hurt leg.

In the morning, the hubs wanted to know what on earth was wrong with me that I didn’t let him get out of bed to try to wake up his tingling-asleep leg. Apparently he really was awake, for once, and I wouldn’t let him out of bed.

My poor hubs. It just goes to show you that sometimes things are not what they appear!

All By Myself

Most of the time, I am a very independent person. And slightly excessively stubborn. So, when I set my mind to do something, I get frustrated if I can’t do it all, and have to ask for help. However, due to my new extreme roundness brought on by the growing munchkin, I am finding that I cannot quite do everything all by myself. Things like dusting the bottom shelf of the bookcase, fitting into pants with buttons, refraining from eating an entire jar of cinnamon applesauce, and climbing on chairs to change the smoke detector batteries have become very difficult.

Just hanging out with the hubs. I’m the round one.

The other night the hubs and I were hanging out on the couch, and I had just come home from teaching. It had been an observation day for performance review time, so I could not sit down at all the whole class. I was complaining to the hubs about how uncomfortable I was, and how tired my legs were, and I was just generally being a grump. I said, “I’m sorry, I’m being sort of whiny about this right now.”

To which the hubs replied, “Yeah, kind of.”

I was so upset at his lack of compassion that I tried to storm off. However, I was laying back, and couldn’t sit up, seeing as how I have a basketball for a tummy. So, the hubs had to help me roll off of the couch, so that I could then storm off. By the time I finally got upright with his help it seemed silly to be mad, so I got some chocolate from the kitchen and returned to him on the couch.

It is very humbling to not be able to sit up on one’s own. I guess I cannot do everything by myself.

Oh, well. Just a couple more weeks and things will all go back to normal, right? Right, guys? Guys? RIGHT?!?

Perhaps the hubs was thinking about my desire to do things for myself when he was talking in his sleep this past week. I was laying there, debating in my mind the merits of a third pillow to prop up my feet, when the hubs started talking.

Hubs: It can do it itself!

Me: Hmm, what can, Buddy?

Hubs: It can clean itself up. It really can, we just have to leave it alone.

Me: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Hubs: The river…it will clean itself if we just let it.

Me: Oh?

Hubs: Yeah, it can do it all by itself.

Me: Ok, anything else?

Hubs: It’s good…all by itself.

He didn’t say anything else after that, and I decided to get out of bed to get another pillow, all by myself.

If I Only Had a Brain

I just love our little dog. I really do. I think she is so sweet, and the most darling four-legged creature on the planet. However, I will be the first to admit that she is just not very smart. Not really a whole lot going on upstairs, if you know what I mean.

For example, sometimes she runs to the glass door to look out, and she gets startled and gives a little “yip” when she sees her own reflection. Last week we took her to see the hubs’ grandparents, and she got lost in their house, and could not find her way back to the living room when she wandered down the hall. Also while there, I called for her when she was behind the couch I was sitting on. Poor thing tried, but she could not figure out how to go around the couch to get to me, so she gave a little cry and vaulted over the back of the couch to get to me. Impressive feat of dog agility, but if she had any sort of critical thinking skills, she probably would have just walked around to the front of the couch.

She also does not know how to back up. This summer I had her tied up to the dock. There’s just enough room between the dock and the ground that she could squeeze between. She jumped down, ran through the dock-ground tunnel, ran over the top of the dock, through the tunnel again, and did this again and again. Finally, she ran out of rope. Unfortunately, she was halfway through under the dock at the time. So, of course, she started to cry. I tried to get her to back up, but she refused. Finally I had to wiggle down and unclasp her leash so that she could get out. Then I had to untangle the rope from the dock. I got a whole line of splinters on my behind! And just last night she hid her dog bone, then could not remember where it was, so she cried for an hour. Finally the hubs found it for her, so all was well again. Oh, my.

Good thing she’s so cute!

I wonder if the hubs was thinking about the dog this week when he was talking in his sleep.

It is deer season, so the hubs has been going to bed early, tuckered out from being cold and alert out in the tree stand for so long. I was up still, reading, when all of the sudden the hubs flopped over to face me.

Hubs: That’s really weird.

Me: Oh? What is?

Hubs: Well, she wants to know…but she’s asking the dog, who has no idea about wine glasses!

Me (snorting with laughter): Yeah, that is pretty weird. Will she ask a different dog instead?

Hubs: Hmm…and I’m sensing that you have no idea what I am talking about.

Me: No, not really.

Hubs: I can tell.

Me: Anything I can do to help?

Hubs: No, it’s alright.

Me (climbing out of bed): I have to go to the bathroom, be right back. I love you!

Hubs: Yeah, I know.

I’m almost to the door now, headed for the bathroom.

Hubs (calling loudly): I love you, too!

I have no idea why anyone would ask a dog about wine glasses, I know our dog would be no help whatsoever on the topic. But I am glad that she is part of our family, a family that contains one very silly but very sweet sleep-talker!