The Great Bike Race

The hubs is the best biker in the entire world. At least, I think so, and I am not at all biased.

Here is the hubs after riding up a mountain out west.

Sometimes the hubs is in bike races. Although he really likes this, I do not particularly like it when he races. I get all fluttery and nervous and every time there is the slightest little wobble or bumping of handle bars my heart drops down to my stomach. In bike racing, you never know what will happen: at the race last week there was lots of swerving and some close calls because of a turtle crossing the track!

After the race this past week, the hubs’ performance was obviously on his mind when he (finally) fell asleep. It was sometime shortly after 3 in the morning. The hubs all of the sudden propped himself up on one elbow and started talking to me loudly.

Hubs: 24? Are you sure it was only 24?

Me: Hmmm?? What??

Hubs: Are you sure I only beat 24 people? More like… probably more like 26… yeah, 26.

Me: Ugghhhh… what time is it?

Hubs: Definitely more than 22. At least 24. I beat at least that many.

Me: UHH, please go to bed.

Hubs: Yeah, I think 26.

Then he flopped back down and did not say anything else.

I am so proud of the hubs, and it doesn’t matter if he beats 22 or 24 or 26 or zero or all of the other racers. I still think he is the best bike racer ever!

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A Morning Mole

I hate mornings. Really, truly hate them. I just hate to wake up. The hubs used to call me “the mole” in the morning because of my aversion to light, the way I burrow down in the blankets, and because of my squinty morning-eyes.

I do not think that being called a common garden pest is very flattering, so I asked him not to call me that. Of course, he forgot that I did not like it the very next morning. He popped out of bed cheery, as usual. He pulled the covers off of me and said, “How’s my mmmooollll…”

I glared at him, I do not want to be called a mole. He finished, “mmmooollll – ificent wifelet this morning? You’re just so mol-ificent and lovely!”

I feel that I can only take this as a compliment.

Why, oh, why did you wake me up from my afternoon nap in the sun? I’ve only gotten to sleep 78% of the day away on my dog bed!

I was woken up in the wee hours of the morning this past week. I was sleeping away, when all of the sudden I jolted awake because something was punching my back. I turned over and saw the asleep hubs. He was half sitting, half laying facing me, with his arms bent so that his elbows were out in front of him. He was using his elbows to poke me in the back.

Me: Umm, what on earth are you doing?

The hubs poke-poke-poked my back some more with his elbows.

Me: Hey! Stop that!

The still asleep hubs kept using his sharp elbows to poke me. I swatted his elbows away.

Me: HEY! You need to stop that right now! Lay down and go back to bed.

The hubs let out a huge exasperated sigh, rolled to his other side, and went back to sleeping quietly.

I have no idea what the hubs was dreaming about, and I don’t know that I want to know! But I am glad that when he wakes me up he normally does it much more kindly than with his surprisingly sharp elbows!

The Best Guard Dog in the County

Our dog is very protective of her family. Thankfully she does not bark excessively and get us in trouble with the apartment complex. However, she does spend the vast majority of her waking hours guarding the apartment. She looks out over the lawn, giving a little snort whenever she sees someone pass by the window.

This is the dog’s favorite chair to sit on while she looks out the window, surveying her domain.

She does not bark at any dogs except for one: a small yorkie that I’m sure is very nice, but she for some reason views as a threat. The yorkie is the size of an overweight guinea pig, so I have no idea why the dog gets so upset, but she does. She barks and whines whenever that little rodent with bows in her hair walks by. The dog also freaks out and howls when the hubs walks around the building so she can’t see him anymore. When this happens she throws herself on the ground and “ROOOROOOROOO!”s her great displeasure.

More looking out the window. Is that the yorkie?!? Nope, it’s all ok. Just a giant yellow lab.

Everything looks quiet on the western front.

Sometimes the laundry pile needs to be guarded, too.

I’m glad that she is so protective of us, although she is so petite I don’t think that she would be much help if we really were under attack. The hubs is the REAL protector of our family, even though the dog thinks she is.

Last night the hubs all of the sudden sat up in his sleep, then started talking.

Hubs: 48, 54, 72, maybe…maybe a little more than that.

Me: Hmm… what, Buddy?

Hubs: I think, I really think 54. That’s enough.

Me: 54? 54 what?

Hubs: 54 feet. That’s how many it will take to protect her. Probably 54 feet, minimum.

Me: Oh, ok… you think 54 is enough?

Hubs: Yeah. That should be far enough to keep her safe.

Me: Keep who safe from what?

Hubs: Oh, don’t worry about it, Baby. It’s ok. Nothing to worry about.

Then he leaned over, gave me a peck on the forehead, and rolled back over to sleep.

I don’t know who the hubs was protecting in his sleep, but I do know that with him around I feel much safer.

The Amazing, Nesting Beagle!

The dog is very sensitive. If she gets upset, or scared, or cold, or excited she burrows into a nice cozy nest, like this:

In the past week the dog has gotten upset and felt the need to burrow into a little nest over the following things:

1. A thunderstorm, with lots of thunder and lightning.

2. The neighbor dog got a longer lead and can now round the corner of our building.

3. Watching WALL-E. She bawled like a baby. Oh, wait. That was me.

4. The hubs took a shower and fully latched the bathroom door. Normally the dog sits on the bathroom rug and waits for him, but with the door shut she was forced to hide under a pillow and whine until he got out.

The hubs’ sleep talking does not scare the dog enough to make her hide under some blankets, but if she had been there this past week when he sat up and started yelling, she probably would have run straight to the couch to make a pillow nest!

This past week I was working late and got home after the hubs had fallen asleep. Then I fell asleep over my bowl of whole grain spaghettios, so by the time I was slipping into the bedroom the hubs had been asleep for some time. I cracked open the door, and heard the hubs jump.

Hubs (sitting up suddenly and yelling): HEY!

I froze, a little concerned that in his asleep state he might jump at me.

Hubs: Oh, hi… I can’t see anything. I just can’t see anything. Who are you?

Me (starting to move into the room): Its me.

Hubs: Oh, ok.

Me: You ok?

Hubs: I just can’t see anything.

Me: Ok… So, you asleep?

Hubs: No, but, well, maybe. Are you?

Me: No…ok, well goodnight. I think you are asleep.

Hubs: I’m not…

Me: Can you prove it?

Hubs (lying back down): No… I love you.

Me: I love you, too.

I am glad the hubs calmed down and got over the fact that he could not see anything. And I am glad that the dog was not there to run and hide under our covers.