NyQuil: The Achilles’ Heel of the Sleep Talker

The poor hubs has been fighting off the sniffles this week. I do not like it when he is sick, although he has a very good attitude about it. (And, he’s not too much of a hypochondriac. I tend to lean toward being a hypochondriac myself. In fact, this morning I was making my toast for breakfast when all of the sudden I couldn’t see out of my right eye. I immediately thought of the worst thing it could be: I was obviously having a stroke. I started freaking out before I realized that when I was adjusting my glasses I had smeared peanut butter all over the lens…)

When you are sick it is nice to have your best buddy there to keep you company.

However, the hubs has been taking night time cold medicine every night. Although he has been sleeping like a log, he has not talked at all the whole week. Cold medicine is kryptonite to his sleep talking power.

Not to fret, though. I have plenty of previous sleep talking stories to share.

Several months ago I was up late sitting in bed doing some lesson prepping for teaching the next day. Suddenly, the hubs sat up and turned to me.

Hubs (speaking enthusiastically) – You’re important!

Me – Umm, are you asleep?

Hubs – You’re important… how nice.

(throws his arm around my neck)

Hubs (in a sing-song, high pitch) – Well, hi!

Me – I really think you’re still asleep.

Hubs (lies back down quietly) – OK, well you go to sleep now.

I am so thankful that I am important to the hubs, even when he is asleep.

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Sweet Dreams

I am a bit of a dork. I wish I was not this way. I would prefer to be suave and cool and pulled together. Unfortunately, I am not any of those things. If you think that I am, it is just an illusion. And when you get to know me better you will see the truth: I am a dingbat.

This was proven yet again this week when I took the dog for a walk. I was waiting at a cross walk to cross the street. A car decided to stop and waved me out in front of them. I thought this was very polite of them, but I was sort of flustered because I was not expecting it so I took off across the street right away. Unfortunately, the dog was not ready to walk, but was in mid-sniff of a nearby light pole. So I started walking, the dog got turned around and somehow 2 of her legs got tangled up in the leash!

By the time I looked down and saw that she was hobbling/jumping along with only a left front and a right back leg we were a third of the way across the road. I did not want to stop in the middle of the road to fix it because of my fear of getting hit by a car so I did the only thing I could think of: I walked faster. Oh, the poor dog! She could not hobble along that quickly, so she had to take little leaps as I dragged her along, forging ahead in front of stopped traffic. They probably thought I was such a cruel pet owner. Oh, dear.

As soon as we got to the other side of the road I bent over to fix the poor dog’s leash, and she celebrated her release by peeing on yet another light pole. I was so traumatized by the experience that I dreamed about it that night. I do that quite a bit: dream about my daytime embarrassments. At least most of them are just embarrassing dreams, not nightmares.

I leave the laundry pile for a second and the dog takes over. I hope she only has sweet dreams as she snoozes on our clean towels.

However a few weeks ago I did have a nightmare. I jolted awake and sat up in bed, still pretty scared even with my eyes open.

Me: Hubs? Hubs, you awake?

Hubs: Yeah, what’s wrong Princess?

Me: I had a nightmare.

Hubs: Oh no. I’m sorry.

Me: Yeah, it was really scary.

Hubs: It’s ok. Do you want to tell me about it?

Me: I guess. I mean, it was really scary, and I was walking along…

Hubs (sitting up all the sudden and interrupting me): Hon? Lay back down and go to sleep.

Me: Umm…ok…

So I rolled over and went back to sleep, a little perturbed that he had interrupted me just to tell me to go back to sleep. It was not very compassionate of him in my time of need, that’s for sure.

I asked him about the next day, and it turns out that the whole time he was “comforting” me, he was asleep. Completely and totally asleep. Did not remember talking to me at all. What he did remember was waking up and I was talking to him. So he thought that I was talking in my sleep so he told me to go back to bed.

My hubs, he can comfort me even while he is still asleep. He is such a dreamy husband, for sure.

There’s No Place Like Home

I have been traveling for a bit, so had to be away from the hubs and the dog.

Sad to be away from the hubs, ecstatic to be seeing more of the world!

When I am away from the hubs, he eats pancakes for every meal. Every. Single. Meal. Even if I make a casserole or two and write directions on the foil, he still only eats pancakes. Only pancakes.

The hubs making pancakes... again...

The dog ate the same thing all week, too. But that is pretty normal.

However, I am back now, making yummy, non-pancake meals for the hubs. He has not talked in his sleep much since I  got back but he did talk some the week before I left.

I was snuggled up in bed, having some trouble sleeping, when all of the sudden the hubs started talking to me.

Hubs: Sure, you can come in.

Me: I can? Come in where?

Hubs: Come into the building.

Me: Oh… ok.

The hubs did not say anything else, so I hunkered down to go to sleep. I reached out and put my arm around the hubs. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and threw my arm off of him!

Hubs: I said you can come in! That doesn’t mean you can put your hands all over me!

Me (totally shocked): I can’t?!? Umm… ok, well maybe later I guess.

Hubs: Yeah, that’s ok.

Me: Do you know who I am?

Hubs: Yes, so I guess it’s ok for you to hug me. But no one else!

Me: Oh, ok. That’s fine.

Then he rolled over and did not say anything else.

It is a good thing that this happened before my trip. Otherwise, I would have been very offended if this was his nighttime greeting after my return!

The Elbow Conundrum

I am gone from home this week, so the hubs and the dog are all alone. However, have no fear, I will share something that he did several weeks ago.

I was asleep in bed and woke up because the hubs was sitting up, waving his arm wildly, bending and unbending his elbow. I thought maybe he was waving at somebody in his sleep.

Me: Buddy? Are you ok?

Hubs: Yeah, just checking.

Me (still thinking he was waving at someone in his sleep): Oh, ok. Who did you think it was?

Hubs: Just trying to get my elbow to pop.

This sounded normal. I now thought that he was awake.

Me: Oh, I see.

Hubs (calling loudly): YOU GUYS!

So, yeah…he’s asleep.

Me: Other people? Is someone else doing this too?

Hubs (acting like I should know this): Yes, like 500.

Me: Oh… I see.

Hubs (laying back down): I am sick of this now. I’m really tired.

Me: Ok… Well, goodnight.

Hubs: Yeah, you should go to sleep.

Then he laid back down and was quiet.

I will be back home next week, but until then who knows what things he is saying in his sleep. Hopefully the dog is getting to laugh at him in my absence.