Llamas, and manatees, and sloths – Oh My!

Llamas are my second favorite mammals, right behind manatees and before koala bears. Baleen whales and sloths round out the top five. I like animated llamas, plush llamas, llamas in books, and llamas in real life. Llamas on a farm or llamas in the wild, I like them all. I also like to say the word, “llama.” Try it. “Llama.” Oh, it’s just such a funny word.

Quite a bit ago the hubs and I decided that we should have a word that the hubs could use to prove that he was awake. We had been having problems because he would say stuff at night that sounded just normal enough, so I thought he was awake. But really he was asleep and when I would ask him about it in the morning he had no idea what I was talking about.

When the hubs suggested that I come up with a “proof word” that he could use to show when he was awake, I immediately knew the perfect word: llama. The word “llama” was perfectly suited to the job. It is rarely used in conversation (unless you are a llama breeder) and it is such a funny word the hubs would remember it.

For a few months our little system worked wonderfully. The hubs would say something that sounded normal, I would ask if he was asleep, and if he was awake he would say, “Llama.”

Then we had a disastrous night where it became clear that the hubs could, in fact, give the proof word even while asleep. The hubs was laying there, and I thought he was asleep. All of the sudden, he started speaking loudly, although staying still and keeping his eyes closed.

Hubs: You (insert derogatory word here).

Me: Excuse me?!?

Hubs did not say anything. I thought he was possibly asleep.

Me: That is completely inappropriate! Are you asleep?

Hubs: No.

Me: Then prove it.

Hubs: Llama

Me: Why, that is so… you… I just… You’re really awake?

Hubs (yelling): LLAMA!

I was just livid. I could not believe he had said THAT to me. (It is very unlike him to say things like that about his worst enemy, let alone me!) And he had used our code word so he had to be awake! I was so mad I climbed out of bed and got all the pillows in the apartment, including the decorative pillows on the love seat. Then I brought them all back to bed with me and built a pillow wall between us in the bed. I am very stubborn, and I would certainly not be driven out of my own bed by him saying something so cruel. However,  I felt that a large pillow wall and icy silence would let the hubs know of my extreme displeasure.

Then I went back to sleep on my side of the pillow wall. In the morning the hubs was very confused when he woke up fenced into his side of the bed by pillows. I will spare you the details of our conversation that morning; eventually we figured out that the hubs had no idea what I was mad about because he had been asleep the entire time.

I still love llamas, but we no longer use a code word. I think this is a good choice, if only for the good of our throw pillows: they could not hold up well if I were frequently building pillow walls.

The End

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